body image

Are my arms too fat? 

Thoughts on beauty, self-image and self-esteem in the age of Instagram.

As someone who works in communications in our contemporary society, I have a special fondness, passion or some might call obsession with social media. It’s kind of a requirement. I love the ability to send a message directly to your friends, customers or community members and get their feedback in real time. I love the ability to share my life with my family and friends, many of whom live far away. I must admit that often I almost curate my life for Instagram-worthy moments. And I get a rush when my posts receive a lot of engagement and feel hurt when I bare my soul to get less than 5 likes.

Another thing that I love about social media is the ability to get insight into the lives of celebrities. I was never the type to care about them but Instagram has made me obsessed.

The difficulty with being bombarded with images of celebrity lifestyles is the insane envy I get when I see their pictures. The women I follow are all gorgeous, mostly all thin and quite fit. Their clothes are probably tailor-made since they are super flattering. And the bikinis – I haven’t worn a bikini in over 7 years. Sometimes, seeing all those flat, toned stomaches makes me sick.

I’m totally on board with the body positivity movement and love that our society is starting to appreciate all shapes and sizes. But when I look at myself in the shower, the mirror or a photo, I can’t help but feel terrible. I can’t tell you how many times someone has mistakenly thought I was pregnant. That is how much of a belly I have. I also find myself consistently fascinated with the size of other people’s arms in comparison to mine.

You would think this self-disgust would motivate me to go to the gym and eat healthier and work harder to trim down. I am trying. But I find myself constantly finding excuses not to exercise and watch Netflix instead. I find myself always choosing dessert after dinner, even if I’m full.

I’m hoping if I commit to my goals in writing here that it will motivate me to push myself. That we can support each other in our mission to feel comfortable in our own skin.

Above all, I wish I could consider myself beautiful. I did once. I don’t anymore. I hate my skin, my hair, my shape.

This blog and community is meant to be a positive and encouraging place and this all sounds quite negative, doesn’t it? But the point is also to have a support system and be free from judgement and able to share our hopes, dreams and fears. I do hope to lose weight but I would rather love myself as I am and feel confident.

How can we get there? This blog will try to figure that out.

Share your thoughts in the comments below!

7 comments on “Are my arms too fat? 

  1. love that you’re starting this bev!

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  2. I don’t compare myself to other girls but I do feel disgusted at my body. How I’ve let myself go, especially my arm fat. I find my self shaking my arms in front of the mirror and see the fat shake. I even do it when I’m out and see my shadow on the side walk to see if my arms got that big that even my shadow’s fat arms would shake. I think that if I started working out, I would feel better about myself, but I too, always leave room for dessert after meals and prefer reading to going out to exercise.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Beverly Herscovitch

      Thanks for sharing! I find it hard to motivate myself for sure. I found when I am accountable to someone it helps, like when I had a trainer. But it was soooo expensive. I definitely need to find a workout buddy!

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  3. Jasmine Stewart

    I know what that feels like. I am a work in progess! Started working out Sept 5 and I’m down 12.8lbs! The working out and eating right comes naturally when you learn to love yourself. I’m still working on it. Last year this time I was 368 lbs and today I am 323 lbs. I’m sharing my story in my private Facebook group, feel free to join! It’s very small, but it offers awesome support. Try listening to Louise Hay meditations, they have helped me so much in learning to accept and love myself. Take care!

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  4. Don’t compare. That will be the death of all of us I swear! Everyone says to people who have eating disorders that they thrive on making you not feel good enough no matter what, especially when you compare yourself. I honestly think that goes past eating disorders and goes straight to insecurity as well. When you compare , you will never get to where you want to be. Whether it be losing weight or trying to love yourself. Just love yourself the way you are. It takes practice but it’s worth it

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  5. You’re beautiful as you are. I spent a lot of my life being too skinny (125lbs) which is bad for a guy. I’ve sense gained to a healthy weight and still accept myself for who I am regardless. I live in Mississippi where I am still considered skinny by many even though I weight 180lbs. But it doesn’t bother me, those who put me down are just unhappy with themselves.

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