Today’s guest blog is from a previous contributor named Ashlinn. You can read her last guest blog on making mistakes here. As well, you can visit Ashlinn’s own blog here. She chronicles “a battle against leukemia, the balance of mental health, struggles in love, and a dash of my beloved hockey team, the Montreal Canadiens.” Let us know your thoughts in the comments below!
Hey there! It’s your sporadic resident listicle-writer here, and today we are talking about change. Here are 5 tidbits on this subject I’ve learned/am learning and want to share:
As mental health activist Kristin Bell revealed in a recent interview with her therapist ‘Harry’, more or less, the one making the change is the one in the room. This is true when it comes to therapy, the gym, your education, and countless other aspects of your life. Flexibility and understanding are paramount, especially when it comes to relationships. Learn to adjust your perspective, even if not your opinion, to see another option.
The world is in a constant state of change. Change is simultaneously the easiest thing to do when something isn’t working, yet the hardest thing to do when we have something to lose. It’s a constant battle of holding on and letting go, trying to keep something pristine forever and releasing into the world others. It can be hard to see clearly, especially in the throws of it which category some fall into and sometimes we lose things that we believe were or were actually meant to be. Release with grace, don’t force things, and accept that change is inevitable.
Physical illnesses, mental health disorders, death and more are all mostly – but not always – negative changes. Some things get worse before they get better. Some things get worse and stay bad forever… but, and this I promise you, change is our friend here. By incorporating other things, shifting our focus and prioritizing what is important to us we can find meaning again. One thing I’ve learned in therapy is that pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional. Even if you can’t change the situation at hand, look for other places to put your thoughts and energy. You’ll get through it.
Often outer change is started or initiated by inner change. A change of heart, a change of mind, drives us to change our physical space, our circumstances, and our relationships. Little adjustments bring the biggest change in the long run, and sometimes a drastic change, even if it’s just your hair cut/colour, is needed.
At the end of the day, be kind to yourself. My now deceased mother used to tell my siblings and me all the time to “be your own best friend”. Change is hard, and we can be stubborn but often resistance makes change harder. Embrace change as a part of life – nay, a way of life. Take it step by step, and don’t push too hard. Listen to your body and your mind. Most of the time, what is comfortable, is safe.